Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
– Emma Bombeck
It is a mathematical fact that fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class.
– Anonymous
A natural death is where you die by yourself without a doctor’s help.
– Anonymous
A doctor’s reputation is made by the number of eminent men who die under his care.
– George Bernard
The greatest mistake in the treatment of diseases is that there are physicians for the body and physicians for the soul, although the two cannot be separate.
– Plato
I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know why those doctors were wearing masks for.
– James H Boren
I learned a long time ago that minor surgery is when they do the operation on someone else, not you.
– Bill Wanton
After two days in the hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
– W. C. Fields
A hypochondriac is one who has a pill for everything except what ails him.
– Mignon McLaughlin
Beware of the young doctor and the old barber.
– Benjamin Franklin
The true laboratory is the mind, where behind illusions we uncover the laws of truth.
– J. C. Bose
In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men.
– Cicero
